Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
