i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
