So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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