Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just pee around me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize