let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The Olympian is in my bed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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