Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
