need another drink. this is the easiest way
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
