I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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