He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
