I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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