I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
