Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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