If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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