You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
