I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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