Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
