Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
accomplished twins. life is a go
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
