Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
