I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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