do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
