no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
