It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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