Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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