Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
