So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
