I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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