"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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