When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
