the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
