That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
