He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize