your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
