Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
