Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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