I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
