i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
