Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You ruined the universe
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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