Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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