you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
pray to the hookup gods
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
