i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
