Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
