STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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