Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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