i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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