Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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