So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
