I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i will never coherently bang her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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