What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this will be a night to untag.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize