Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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