if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
