Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
