i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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