My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
