Buhtt sex?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize