I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
