This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
