how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
