I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
