Nicole vs. Life
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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