I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
