why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
