I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize