I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
