...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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