if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize