kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
