i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
is wine microwaveable?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just want nice things and good sex
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
