What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
