Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
