watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
