It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
