So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
