I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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