summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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