i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
