She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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