I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
