so explain again why im purple
no
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
